Cold Creek

Been so cold up in these damned hills,
I'm going to meander to the valley,
down to cold creek

Water so fresh and colder than any womans 'nevermind'
On cold creek

I took that sweet little woman,
As soon as the weather was nice
Up to cold creek

We made love like rapids, stirring it up and rolling stones
On cold creek

We never buried the hatchet but I laid my damned loose axe handle down in
Cold creek

I drove past that axe and the smell of you, and I thought of the axe, how do you do
On cold creek

I'd sat down and written the boy.
of write and wrong.
that the words were earned.
on poverty and sweat.
raised chalice and malice.
slights and regret.

O' child you burn as a forge.
your heat radiant.
and deeply felt.
your danger your fire.
in solace.
your warmth.

Shown teeth as a badger.
cruel youth.
bite your thumb at me.
pin pricks bleed.
from decimated demarcations.
yet sweetness imbued.

Go on child to your precipice.
nimble in mind.
hard in the heart.
fall from my voice.
the groan and growling.
my own.

whiskey sonnet #728 the closest, the furthest

i've really known it all along
you'd needed more of someone
when you came knocking on my heart
asking, "is this thing on?"
bring me whiskey and a glass
and the bourbon in my flask
i've got some irish in a sack
scotch warmed in my grasp
it's hard when you ask
"why all i see is you back?"

all you see is words
all i see is words

baby you should be gone
out there loving someone
but really, move on
the fuck from my face
while i'm writing your song
i know my temper is haste
and i can speak out of place
the whiskey knows without you
the whiskey knows alone

all you see is words
all i see is words

you're my fine wine forty-five

you are my violence
you are my poison idea
you are my greg
be my four o'clock alarm bells
be me whistling dixie
be my louis
be my bail rat
trouble at the violence
trouble when violin comes in
trouble you're not rocking your head
beat the truth
beat the truth out of bass and tom
beat the fucking song
you are my medication
you are my needle jump
you are my change of station
you are my 4:14 amplitude modulation
whiskey at my lips
whiskey fisted parliament
whiskey it is arming me
whiskey it arms the song
the plane remains the same
even as the record plays
the plane remains the same
even as the record plays
the plane remains the same

it's very difficult to write as of late.
surgery will be soon i hope.
the medication takes everything from me.
and while i welcome the relief in some ways, i anguish over nothing.
i miss to speak
scared of surgery, scared of recovery, scared of not recovering
frightened this is the precipice.
C5-C6 spinal compression and calcification.
not terrible.
just want the feeling back.

Musings at the range

The masses in discourse appear to me as an absurd hilarity. Quips and one liners asserting a defiance to the status quo. Marxist tee-shirts obtained from Capitalist, set off and worn as if the act itself was akin to guerrilla warfare.

 Polyester/cotton carbines.

You've simply dressed yourself, you fool!!

I feel I've visited a firing range and all these miscreants are showing me their sharp shooting skills. Prone with the butt of their rifles snug in shoulder, staring down sight and down range. With a keen smugness they gleam, but the barrels have all been reversed on the stocks. They show off with pride their tee-shirt witisims and take aim down range only to blow out their own brains. Quickly replaced by another as proud and keen.

Perhaps there is liberty in the lemmings. Or rather that free fall is simply the perception of freedom when it's own death is imminent.

The bizarre symptoms and attempts to remedy a broken heart

Immediate onset of feeling of physical vacancy in chest.
depression. guilt. anxiety.
insomnia.
masturbation.
benedryl.
pornography.
manual labor.
sexual fantasy.
start a novel.
bed time mental images of every colleague, coworker, acquaintance, store clerk and t.v. personality, all of superior sexual prowess, satisfying previous partner to excess
spontaneous fits of laughter/crying
random eruption of expletives and cursing
read the bible.
yoga.
masturbation.
reorganization of books by American authors chronologically and timelined to historically significant events and influence.
read dictionary.
start a novel.
redact names.
throw out novel.
1001 Spanish verbs.
research active statutes and penalties for screwing a colored girl.
read thesaurus.
book of statistics.
masturbation.
confront and harass police officers.
removal, addition and removal of songs in catalog of car ride and coital significance.
push ups.
cooking.
lethargy.
determination.
masturbation.
xanax.
melatonin.
packing and unpacking of personal effects.
plans to evacuate geographic vicinity.
removal of scents, sights, and belongings of partner.
pacing.
excessive consumption of coffee.
writing.
begin another novel.
optimism of a series of events.
realism of a series of events.
masturbation.
acceptance.